A key part of my coaching packages is that my clients can access me via email or phone, in-between sessions. Pretty much all my clients use this service, albeit to varying degrees, depending on their requirements for coaching.

Reflections between sessions
Coaching is a process and the benefit of an added-value service like this is that it enables further reflections, observations and insights which take place outside of the session, to be integrated more deeply. Often, these insights are about how an unhelpful thought or limiting belief is presenting in other aspects of a client’s business or life.

Increased awareness
As my clients go about their days in between coaching sessions, they get to notice and generate increased levels of awareness around how these thoughts and beliefs are stopping them from taking more positive action towards their business goals. And with time and with my support to hold them to account, they get the opportunity to test out alternative courses of action, and get different results.

One of my clients had such a profound insight recently, coupled with a shift in perspective that resulted in different behaviours and results, that I wanted to share it in case it resonated with any of you. And don’t worry, I sought my client’s permission before sharing and of course it’s fully anonymised!

I wanted to share some reflections and observations on my “shoulds”…

Whereas I said that I enjoyed the first trip, the enjoyment was ‘bitty’… I didn’t allow myself/give myself the opportunity to fully enjoy it. On the other hand, I really enjoyed the second trip – all of it. There were some differences, which helped…

During the first trip, going out to eat was suggested once or twice, but I chose not to go…During the second trip, the 10 of us were in the same hotel, and a minibus took us to the conference centre each day. On the bus, we tended to arrange to go out in the evening to eat together, which I did every evening.

At the end of the week, I felt fully content, connected and satisfied that together all of us had contributed to delivering a really good week (both “connectivity” and “purpose” there, although slightly different!). Some of this was circumstance, as I noted above, but some of it was me…

During the first trip, I didn’t really allow me to see myself as part of the group – I was an outsider, an interloper… (This is often my initial reaction to the new, or to situations where I’m not comfortable for some reason…) When I do such “othering”, I resort to “shoulds”: “If I were different, I would be part of this and things would be better, but I’m not, so…” I started in the same way during the second trip… A group of us were there for lunch on the Sunday before the meeting started… I went with them, but didn’t feel part of it, mainly due to my reaction to some of the more outgoing people there… (“I’m not like them; if I was it would be better…”) (When I’m not enjoying meeting new people, for example, I do the same thing; I speak to myself in the same way…)

On the Sunday night, I realised that I’d been comparing myself to others, and so disappearing into “shoulds”… Instead, I chose to focus on me, on being me and engaging from that space, rather than being in a constant state of comparison… And it was great! I was me, I was objective, I engaged well, and I really enjoyed being in the company of the other people doing the training, and also of the participants.

My “shoulds” come from comparing myself to others; feeling that things would be better for me, if I were more like them; without the comparisons, I could simply be me… Which worked…

I feel as though now that I recognise and understand the “shoulds” better, I can address these… The “shoulds” have been such a barrier to me allowing myself to be/feel connected, both socially and professionally… And to trust that what I’ve been doing works, again, both professionally and personally, as I “should” be doing something else to make things better…

Which brings me to the other thing that I noticed over the last couple of weeks: trusting myself…

During the first session that you and I had, when we explored the personal as well as the professional, I took the decision to trust you and to trust in the process, knowing that me participating fully would be best for me… If I can choose to trust others, then I can choose to trust myself,

During the second trip, I took the decision to trust myself and as I’ve noted, it worked…. And within projects, I also tend to trust myself, knowing that I am able to do what the client wants, and be good at it…

So, in 2024, I am going to fully trust myself, and see what happens!!

I really hope you’ve found this reflection from my client insightful, I certainly did!

This observation illustrates that when we operate from increased levels of awareness, we take better decisions and with better decisions it is possible to achieve better outcomes and positive impact. These impacts can be quickly realised in the immediate term, as was the case with this client, and importantly, because these changes have come from a pronounced shift in awareness and mindset, these changes will be sustainable.

How would it be if you too could fully trust yourself and know that you already have the wisdom to achieve your goals?

You’re welcome to book a complimentary discovery call to find out how working with me can help you to tap into your innate wisdom.